Yvonne’s Thoughts

Those trees are still today
against the blue sky
and gentle drifting clouds

No leaves at this time of year
but graceful bending branches
all reaching for the sky

Different shades of green playing
against the sunlight
even the brown is playful

Birds are busy too.

(written day after WBS )

Fog
Flattened
no brain
floating
weak
sleepy
too much effort
block
just for a scan
not treatment

(written two days later . . . after 2nd WBS)

Strange
the fog has lifted
feels lighter
brighter
bouncy even
floating
nothing matters

within the soul is that core of calm
of intrinsic thoughts
strength, the will, nought to lose.

Inner thoughts
always there
alongside those we share
and hear
the fears
hidden deep inside
outward denial
inwardly twisting up
Knowing the truth and
what will come
so ruddy powerful –

wasted power

if only

Yet now, there is no chance
of return
to start again
acceptance is the only way

if only
I’d known
I might have done
different.

The result was almost
as expected
Good news
confusing messages
uptake in thyroid
nowhere else
so they think – hope –
so that’s the good news
Now blood tests
scans and RAI

I knew really that’s what it will be

cathedrals
sailing
sewing
knitting
travelling UK
will do.

WAITING
for a letter?
Waiting
for a phone call?
Waiting
for a result
Waiting
what next?
waiting
for the next appointment

would rather not.

ANGER brewing
feel it inside
Forever saying the right words
not what I really feel

anger brewing
spill it out

words

fail me at this minute.